The skinnyest margin...

DonKay doesn't advocate antisocialism, at least not any more than NASCAR advocates starting your day with two bloody marys, draining its length as if its light were light beer, and then taking the sun down into the night with any whisky named after a person. You might say it just works out like that, and we do have to admit that most new memberships are opened up under the auspices of "nowhere else to go." We recognize that puts us in pretty bad but crowded company as far as cultural institutions go, but let us tell you that its nice and warm in here. For instance Shawn Thald and Jin-Wong Chan stayed best friends until tenth grade, as far as our records indicate.

I don't know why Jin and I starting bringing a cheerleader baton to school and playing catch with it at recess. Probably because its the stupidest thing possible and its even not allowed because its basically as hard as metal. But since we are like the scum of the earth anyway it shouldn't matter what we do, which is why we usually go on the lowest field where its all dust from softball and nobody else goes.

Because what happens when we don't go down there is that stupid people mess with us just because they have nothing better to do than open their mouths and let their tongues start clanking around like bells in a church. Jin threw the baton at me almost right when we walked out the door, and it landed near Jessica Slaritz and all her friends and they were already spread around so it was so easy for them to keep ahead of us, throwing it from one person to another. They tried to keep their faces totally still, and act like it didn't matter, but you could see the corners of their mouths want to smile and tell they were getting off on our pain.

But then Jin started running around really fast and talking like a rapper and totally ripping into all the girls. First he called Ally "I hate ya when you look like Big Sloppa" because her hair always sticks out so much, and she's kind of chubby, and so even the girls laughed at her, but they kept throwing.
Finally one of them said "How long are we going to do this for?" and Jin cut her off and said, "Keep doin' it 4eva!" then started chanting like the chorus to a DMX song:

"Cuz I just can't stop
breaking down these hoes
when they be stealing
my cheerleada bataaaahnn, my cheerleada bataaaahnn"

You had to have heard it. I could not stop laughing so hard it was like an instant victory for us. It was just like a real song and they knew it, and gave up throwing and tried to say some shit to us as we walked away, but it was nothing we hadn't heard before.